How I Met My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend

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  • Published: 07 September 2018
  • Thank you for watching and hearing my story. Check my pinned comment in the comment section below for more information about me/my experience. Click "Show More" for some helpful links.

    All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Names have been changed and do not represent actual people.

    This video is not monetized. If you wish to support me, here is my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/illymation

    ▶GET HELP!
    https://www.thehotline.org/ - FREE live chat, 24/7 call services, OVER 200 LANGUAGES
    https://www.loveisrespect.org/ - FREE live chat, 24/7 call services
    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ - FREE live chat, 24/7 call services
    https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/ - FREE chat only in Arizona, nationwide 24/7 call services
    https://www.betterhelp.com/ - NOT SPONSORED - online, personal counseling services

    ▶GET EDUCATED!
    https://www.joinonelove.org/ - LEARN MORE about abusive relationships
    https://www.loveisrespect.org/ - “RELATIONSHIPS 101” - LGBTQ+ inclusive
    https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/ - “IS THIS ABUSE?” - helpful guide

    “6 Types of Child Abuse” by Psych2Go: https://youtu.be/vRkKPMXXN8M
    “Abuse Story” by storybooth: https://youtu.be/SiKQDu2cNvU
    “Bad Boyfriend” by storybooth: https://youtu.be/_vFqzpENZO0

    ▶GET OUT THERE AND HELP!
    http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/
    https://www.joinonelove.org/take-action/
    https://www.childhelp.org/donate/#step-one

    ▶I USE:
    - ToonBoom Harmony Premium - to animate
    - Blue Yeti microphone - to record
    - Premiere CC - to edit audio and video
    - Cintiq 16 Pro screen tablet - to draw (but I recommend basic cheap pen tablets from Wacom)

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Comments • 67 418

  • illymation
    illymation   1 years back

    ⬇️ *IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION I PROBABLY ANSWERED IT HERE* ⬇️

    Hey guys! Thank you for making it through that video and hearing my story on this. Considering this content and the kind of awful people it can attract, I wanna start something good in my comments section with your help! *If you see a comment that’s super kind, helpful, anything awesome, comment on that comment with a heart ❤️ emoji.* That way, youtube will push it to the top. If enough people give love to one another, maybe we can drown out the hate. 😄

    I expect there will be a lot of valid questions. A lot of those I can assure you I’ll get to in the next videos. But here are some answers for now.

    *Why did you make this video? It’s [insert your opinion here]*

    If I have a platform, if I have a voice, if people are watching and listening to me, I want to use this channel to highlight the things I wish I knew to avoid when I was your age. I want to warn others against awful people like the guy in this video. Know the red flags. Listen to your friends and family. It really can happen to anyone.

    *“Why wait? Quit cliffhanging! Tell us everything!”*

    This is already a 10 minute video that took over a month to do! I’m also in college full time. I reaaaallly wanted to do a tell-all, believe me. There’s just so much to tell, and I am ITCHING to get this done.

    *“Why didn’t you go to the police?”*

    1. You can’t call the cops on someone being mean to you on the internet.
    2. *I did!* (I’ll get into that in the next video) but understand, I, the detective, my lawyer, we all need to be able to prove who sent the messages. The messages themselves aren’t enough. If brought to court, he could argue “oh my sister sent that not me” and... we can’t prove otherwise. And if you don’t believe this, idk what to tell you. I went to the police and this is what they told me.
    3. *We tried* proving otherwise by getting his confession, and he denied it all of course. He never thought he did anything wrong in the first place.
    4. Even though he coerced me into sending pictures, I could still go to jail for “soliciting” CP. Again, we can’t prove HE coerced me. But we can prove that’s me who sent them. “WAIT THATS NOT FAIR—!” Yup. Even though I was coerced, I was pressured, I was threatened... I did something that can be proven, and he did something that can’t be proven. So going to court could possibly get ME jailed. This is what people mean when they say “the system protects criminals.” 🙃

    *”Why didn’t you include the messages where [this this that that whatever]”*

    I just don’t have the messages. Here’s the approximate breakdown of our conversation history:
    - 80% Skype
    - Of that 80%, half was talking out loud (therefore no paper trail)
    - Blocking people on Skype in 2015 deletes your conversation history. I know there’s a way to mine it out of your computer somehow, but I didn’t know this back then, and I no longer own that computer.
    - 10% texting (This happened in 2015. It is 2018. I’ve gone through 2 new phones, one of which was stolen fml)
    - 10% other - google hangouts, Facebook, tumblr, etc.

    *”This happens to men/boys too.”*

    Yeah, and water is wet. Me talking about my experiences doesn’t negate others. *The only story I can tell is my own.* Why would I talk about someone else, or I guess pretend to be a boy and tell this story, if that’s what you want? I don’t know that experience or how it feels. I only know mine, and that’s why I shared it. The links I’ve provided are inclusive of all people and children, and some show breakdowns by gender. *If you’re concerned about other people and their stories, PLEASE go find them and support them.* Don’t sit in my comments section telling me to do that. They obviously need YOUR help if you want to give that. *Claiming I’m “ignoring” others by just telling my story is ignorant and a waste of the kind heart you claim to have.*

    *“Did he do anything worse?”*

    Unfortunately yes. Statutory r***. And I went to the police about it. We tried getting security camera footage but the place where it happened didn’t have cameras installed until a year after the incident took place. All we could try to pin him on was coercion to entice, but again, we couldn’t get him to confess. So, he got away with it.

    *”you’re lying / you’re doing this for attention / this is fake / that’s photoshopped / if this really happened you’d / etc”*

    Did you know 2% of American adults think the Earth is flat? With a population of 326,766,748, that’s 6.5 million dumbasses walking amongst us. With numbers like that, who am I to expect anyone watching this video to believe anything concrete?

    After getting out of this relationship, I was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, I’ve struggled with self harm since being with him and I am prone to relapsing, and I have had symptoms of PTSD (recurring vivid nightmares, flashbacks, irrational fears). Making this video put me in an awful place mentally for a month or so, which I anticipated and dealt with along the way. I do not have the emotional energy or even a care in the world to “debate” you in the comment section. But go off, more comments actually benefits my channel. (Thanks for your support! 😊😊😊😊)

    Thank you guys so much and let me know if you’d like to see part two or something a little more light hearted.

    • Angel Amy
      Angel Amy  6 days back

      My name is Lilly. C:

    • Lisa Griffith
      Lisa Griffith  3 weeks back

      Get a ugly picture of the internet and sent it to him/her he’ll think your ugly and leave you alone

    • Mossimo Reynolds
      Mossimo Reynolds  1 months back

      I have a question. Have you seen other YouTube animators with other tragic problems?

    • Randy Richmond III
      Randy Richmond III  1 months back

      @HolsappleArt Studios it takes a real man to do what you did

    • Talia R Lahn
      Talia R Lahn  2 months back

      hey illy, I hate to bother you, and I completely believe you, but could you explain how Haris was 21 when you were 15 when you said at the beginning of the video you said you were 13 when he was 17? Sorry just as a perfectionist that confused me. I promise I believe you, and I'm sure there's an explanation for it because as a person who also struggled with abuse I have some memory loss from that time. but if you or someone else could explain I would greatly appreciate it

  • Hyrule Bros
    Hyrule Bros  3 hours back

    What the Heck has this Dude with his "thrill"

    • Jake Da Snake
      Jake Da Snake  4 hours back

      One of my friends who is also 13 meet a 17 year old a year ago when she was 12, it was only 3 months ago that she told me about him I pretended that it was cool even though deep inside I new it wasn’t write but I honestly didn’t know what to do, all the sources I looked out where about if you were a predatory victim not if your friend is one. At this point all my friends new about him but one of my friends actually had the confidence to confront her, later she lied to her about breaking up with him just to get her off her back. Two months later I am still quiet but Tuesday I don’t know what it was but I told the girl she lied to and she got really fucking mad. Another friend told me that I was insane but I knew that It was the Wright thing. Now it’s Thursday, today and after talking about the situation with a few friends at lunch I knew what I had to do, I told the counselor about her. This took so much courage for me to do, I was scared to confront her about out of fear that she would lie to me too, will she lie to the counselor? Will she attack me? I was so scared but it was the only thing I could think of besides telling the police. At lunch my friends also gave me a lot more information like how she was dating for a year( I only thought they were dating for 3 months or so) and that her boyfriend tried to break up with her twice in which she would threaten to cut herself if he left her. Do it’s a toxic relationship from both sides. If any of you guys have words of support or guidence please leave them in the comments

      • MoonDiamond_
        MoonDiamond_  6 hours back

        Videos like these should be showed to kids in middle school so they can have a bit of info on this subject so they could have a chance of identifying this kind of stuff but we can only hope for people going through this. 😔

        • Scarlett Sladek
          Scarlett Sladek  9 hours back

          “Age is just a number”
          “So is 911”

          • WoodHands
            WoodHands  10 hours back

            0:51
            yeah i'd smash kovu too, scar and simba as well

            • Julio Angel F R
              Julio Angel F R  11 hours back

              Holy shit

              • Julio Angel F R
                Julio Angel F R  11 hours back

                peokhub

                • silent smoggy
                  silent smoggy  12 hours back

                  Thank you for your bravery <3

                  • eliazer jimenez
                    eliazer jimenez  13 hours back

                    6:35

                    • Karen Gonzalez
                      Karen Gonzalez  13 hours back

                      I'm 10 years old

                      • Josephine Irwin
                        Josephine Irwin  18 hours back

                        "Where like romeo and juliet okay?"
                        Me: ha I wish you died from poison 😡 that son of a 🤬

                        • Yugio addict
                          Yugio addict  1 days back

                          "here comes a thought

                          • Ana Rubero
                            Ana Rubero  1 days back

                            I honestly love all your videos and they make me so inspired and more careful by the time that I saw your first video which is this one I immediately subscribed and I am super more careful like it’s never been the same

                            • Guðjón Árnason
                              Guðjón Árnason  2 days back

                              Oh my god are you also a swimmer.

                              • Ксеня Щеголева

                                I’m 12 years old and I talked with a pedophile and he was normal (he’s 24) I asked why he loves children and he replied “I watched 18+ video with girls 12-16 years old and I really liked it” but he really was normal to his strange questions I answered "I am a little lady"
                                I'm from Russia, if there are any mistakes, sorry.

                                • Julia Smith
                                  Julia Smith  2 days back

                                  You are helping so many people with your videos. You are amazing. I love your art too!

                                  • Ice13BL
                                    Ice13BL  2 days back

                                    Hahaha you wouldn’t get depressed if someone doesn’t like you back

                                    • Grellow :P
                                      Grellow :P  3 days back

                                      She sounds like she crying, I cri too then

                                      • Mister MasterTY
                                        Mister MasterTY  3 days back

                                        OwO. U told the strangers uR. NaME Oh. mY GuD

                                        • Kasey Butcher
                                          Kasey Butcher  3 days back

                                          People like Harris die in prison. And justly so.

                                          • GalaxyDestroyer321
                                            GalaxyDestroyer321  3 days back

                                            This kind of shit is why i trust no one

                                            • Adah Christian
                                              Adah Christian  3 days back

                                              This has happened to my best friend. My best friend met this girl in school and this girl is just like Harris (besides the photo part)!! My best friend doesn’t see it but I see it and other people see it too! He won’t listen to me, his friends, and even his own parents no matter what we do or say. Sadly, I stopped helping him and when the day comes where she does hurt him, I sadly won’t be there for him. He does everything to the girl and not to his two best friends. I’m tired of this topic! It’s disgusting and rude!! People reading this, know the warning signs and don’t end up with the wrong people.

                                              • Stars
                                                Stars  3 days back

                                                “Age is just a number”
                                                So is 911

                                                • Ivan R_Plays928
                                                  Ivan R_Plays928  3 days back

                                                  My uncle did stuff like that, but in person

                                                  • Minerva Salazar
                                                    Minerva Salazar  3 days back

                                                    Awww I feel so bad for you :c

                                                    No one should ever do this.

                                                    This would probably happen to me :/ I'm very vulnerable

                                                    • Shiro Blueberry
                                                      Shiro Blueberry  4 days back

                                                      Omg, that was just a lot

                                                      • Oliver White
                                                        Oliver White  4 days back

                                                        I just burst into tears. I am so sorry this happened to you. From one sexual survivor to another. I cant describe in words how brave you are. Im still learning to survive but your learning to live. I really admire you.

                                                        • Bluetastic Master
                                                          Bluetastic Master  4 days back

                                                          I’m 17 and I have a gf...this is so sad I’m so sorry for what u had to go through 🤦🏻‍♂️

                                                          • Lula Nasywa Avrili
                                                            Lula Nasywa Avrili  4 days back

                                                            Im 10

                                                            • Cormac McColgan
                                                              Cormac McColgan  4 days back

                                                              I don't know if it's pedophilia or I'm just jealous but my good friend who's also my crush is in an online relationship to this 18 year old even though she's 14, I'm just worried for her because he sexually says shit to her and wants her to buy him things, what should I honestly do? I'm scared and kinda jealous for her

                                                              • BabyBlue Simmons
                                                                BabyBlue Simmons  4 days back

                                                                I just wanted to tell you this because I really appreciate you :> I was friends with this guy I met about three years ago and we were like the bestest friends til about one year after we met.. He started threatening me (He was a booter and dealt with the deep web) He threatened you turn off my internet and take my parents up south and kill them.. This went on for almost a year then the threats got worse he started saying if I didn’t send nudes he’d send somebody out to my home to force me to and if I still refuse he’d kill me.. So I did it but one day I said to him it was dumb and I didn’t like it your 26 and I’m 12 about three weeks later a man shows up at my house and forces me to allow him to take photos he beat me in places nobody saw and said if it happened again he’d finish me.. I was emotionally scared and this went on for about 8 more months then I talked to my counselor and we called the cops the man was caught.. You inspired me to get out of it thank you for that.....

                                                                • microwave studios
                                                                  microwave studios  4 days back

                                                                  I am 10 not 13 l:

                                                                  • Valeria Sanchez
                                                                    Valeria Sanchez  5 days back

                                                                    Errr... I'm 9...

                                                                    • Yeetus da fetus
                                                                      Yeetus da fetus  5 days back

                                                                      U get him in jail yet

                                                                      • Marshmallow Bagel
                                                                        Marshmallow Bagel  5 days back

                                                                        When she said “fyuck yo privacy” she sounded like Timon...

                                                                        • Noodle Boy
                                                                          Noodle Boy  5 days back

                                                                          Tfgtvybgh got to me noodle and I wanna was a time for y’all pick up my kids at lunch today and then I’ll be home in a little while I’m just leaving my moms now I’ll text you later I’m gonna was a little too late to pick ya you guys pick y’all pick up my stuff for me and my dad pick me ya up at the school and I’ll text ya you guys ya ya know ya ya guys know ya ya got it hurt ya know ya ya got it hurt okay better now I know ya ya got it hurt okay better then you got your face and you don’t have a good day at home alone and I know you know what you wanna know ya know what look better then you know what you wanna know I gotta do I gotta was a time of time for ya to get me up first and I know you wanna ya know ya ya guys know ya ya got it hurt okay haha was a time for ya to get up and get your a girl out of it haha was a good game for y’all me and I know you guys are going home and then I got to go to pick ya ya guys up at my house I don’t want you guys to go to get your lunch pick y’all pick ya ya guys ya ya know ya ya got it hurt okay haha is your day you get here you guys

                                                                          • Lauren Folsom
                                                                            Lauren Folsom  5 days back

                                                                            KOUV I LOVE KOVU HE MY FAV. LION KING LIOn huh sorey scar -_-

                                                                            • Nezuko chan
                                                                              Nezuko chan  6 days back

                                                                              There are so many people like Harris. Even I have met few.I was 16 when few guys stole my phone no. and I was living in a hostel that time. It was terrible but my hostel uncle helped me. Again when I was 21 it happened on fb. He liked my drawing and we chatted . Then the guy asked me for picks. I just did not go with that shit for long instead I just called them names and blocked them.

                                                                              • tsukichan4
                                                                                tsukichan4  6 days back

                                                                                Dear young girls! Heed Illy's lecture! Don't let some crap dump of a guy do this to you!!! They are NOT worth it!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

                                                                                • A.P.P. Stuff
                                                                                  A.P.P. Stuff  6 days back

                                                                                  To those 14% that put “yes” on the survey for this happening to them






                                                                                  God bless you. I hope you are better now

                                                                                  • Cher Cendajas
                                                                                    Cher Cendajas  6 days back

                                                                                    --__-- This Guy is a weirdo....Serious

                                                                                    • Cher Cendajas
                                                                                      Cher Cendajas  6 days back

                                                                                      You are adorable :3 I'm serious

                                                                                      • Cristian Sanchez
                                                                                        Cristian Sanchez  7 days back

                                                                                        1 like 15 timberland boot slaps to the guy


                                                                                        (Timberland boots are giant steel toe boots)

                                                                                        • One _ Pan _ Enby
                                                                                          One _ Pan _ Enby  7 days back

                                                                                          I’ve been in a relationship like this before, thank you. Really.

                                                                                          • Belen Gutierrez
                                                                                            Belen Gutierrez  1 weeks back

                                                                                            Ugh gurl i just left and going threw it

                                                                                            • Norbert Gulyas
                                                                                              Norbert Gulyas  1 weeks back

                                                                                              Are you ok illy?

                                                                                              • Tylor Robinette
                                                                                                Tylor Robinette  1 weeks back

                                                                                                some stoff in the story there?